Every year, during one of those days when i have to blow the flames off candles poked into some pastry thing, and make a wish, i wished i had real parents.


You know, i'm sorry if i wasn't the ideal person you planned for me to be and all. And i do not live for you. i hardly even see you half my life and you care what i do all of a sudden? You hardly even know i play netball. You thought i played polyball..and what is polyball!! It doesn't even exist.And thanks proving to me i'm stupid and disfiguring my wrists.And so i suck at my studies. And i'm tanned, but i don't want to be some white thing roaming the streets. Who will put sun-block while trainings?!?! Tans do fade eventually. You're wayy tanner than me than i'll ever be anyways. To think i come home everyday only thinking i'm going nowhere.Even the bus ride home is better than going home. My better days were never at home. Seriously, i wouldn't mind camping in school.Well, some family you proved to be.And there's more freedom in school than there ever will be at home. You have your interests and i do not contradict them like you're doing to me. i probably wouldn't even come home if not for a sister who's also under your effness. I wanna see nutified to talk to them and you probably wouldn't even let me till like, forever. And you hate netball. You can take me out of CGS and send me to polka-dot land, but if it'll make you feel any less secured, i will not do any better in my studies. Plus, it's not my freakin' choice if i'm "skinny", i'm only BORDERLINE underweight. I eat a lot more than most people do and i quit dieting since last year. And maybe if you're lucky and i'm given more cash to spend food on, i might gain weight. I'm probably growing a little by now since i didn't grow an inch since last year-but i didnt gain any weight either. So what difference does it make??!! Your contradictions are nothing that made me improve on anything. Sure, blame me for being home only at nine, you're hardly even home after three. The least is, i practice commitment. You can't even do that with family and you expect me to commit to a loser?! Fine, MAKE ME. Do not criticise me being in netball.It's not just about "throwing a stupid ball around". It's about my passion, and desire to make you pissed of course. But you never really cared about anything else besides yourself and what you planned. For that, i friggin' HATE you.

i'm hardly at home in my own home.